When I was young, new environments or unfamiliar people triggered a state of heightened alertness. Being observant became a necessary defense mechanism—one that kept me on constant guard.

I remember hiding from several men who frequented our home. One afternoon, I was dragged out of my closet so that my mother’s husband and his friend could surround me with a blanket. I couldn’t get out. I was around six years old. I fought desperately, screaming and kicking while they laughed. Eventually, exhausted, I lay still as they continued to hit me, trying to provoke a reaction. For years afterward, I was terrified of being completely covered by a blanket. Their laughter left a scar that still echoes.

These kinds of scars travel with children into adulthood. Often, the resulting behaviors are misunderstood by those who grew up shielded and safe. How can someone who was protected truly grasp the heart and mind of an adult shaped by abuse? How do we teach abused children that they are never to blame? And how can we give them a voice when we, as a society, only speak of these things in whispers?

I once read about a family where generational abuse began with the grandfather. Because nothing was done, the cycle continued through his children and grandchildren. One man’s unchecked actions created a monstrous legacy of pain. Far too many families share similar stories.

When a subject becomes taboo, it only grows stronger in the shadows. Abusers count on our discomfort and silence. They rely on the fear of speaking the truth because the topic is painful and morally grotesque. Yet the problem exists whether we acknowledge it or not.

Studies show that in the United States, 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys are sexually abused before the age of 18. By comparison, 1 in 3 women will develop some form of cancer in their lifetime. We rightly pour vast resources into cancer research and awareness. The same level of recognition and courage is needed here. Pretending abuse doesn’t exist will never protect our children. We must break the silence—for the sake of every one of those 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys.