It is estimated that only 10% of child abuse is ever reported—a tragedy of staggering proportions. Even more sobering, 90% of abuse is perpetrated by someone the child already knows and trusts.
I understand how difficult this topic is for so many. When we confront the statistics—1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys sexually abused before the age of 18—it becomes clear that we are not speaking about this epidemic nearly enough.
Yesterday, I passed my own abuser while driving. The encounter left me wondering: How many others has he harmed? How many people choose to look away, to blame the victims rather than face the truth? It is easier to remain in denial, to make excuses, and to lash out at those who dare to speak honestly.
Most abusers present as friendly, likable, and trustworthy. They often target shy or less confident children. No parent can offer a guarantee of absolute safety, but we can shift the statistics through awareness and action. Here are some meaningful ways we can better protect the children in our lives:
• Get to know your children’s friends and all the adults in their world. Be visibly involved in their activities—it sends a powerful message.
• Trust your instincts. If something feels wrong, speak up. Never be afraid to voice your concerns.
• Listen carefully to your child. Create space for open, honest conversations.
• Ask the important questions. Always run background checks on caregivers and those who will spend time with your children.
• Watch for signs that a child seems uncomfortable or fearful around a particular adult.
• Normalize conversations about child abuse. Let others know that you and your family are informed and vigilant.
Remember: only 10% of abuse is reported, and even then, true justice is rare. This means the vast majority of abusers—over 90%—face no consequences. In a nation that calls itself the land of the free, far too many children are denied justice. If you were an abuser, wouldn’t those odds embolden you? We must do better.
By shining light on this darkness, listening to survivors, supporting families, and refusing to stay silent, we can create a safer world for every child.