Again, I was recently told, “Only the family should know family business.” Who ultimately pays the price when that is the rule? Why do so many families insist on it? It is a devastating problem for countless abused children.

Their family members often refuse to sit down and have an honest conversation about what happened. Instead, they choose to silence the victims. Perhaps this is why survivors of abuse are twelve times more likely to die by suicide. They are treated as shameful secrets and blamed for things they had no control over. I know this haunted Amy. She worried constantly that another child would be hurt.

Having children of my own has given me a deeper understanding of how important family can be. Even more so, it has shown me how vital love and trust are. I want to teach my children to stand up for what is right, even when it is difficult.

There is evil in every corner of life. The danger arises when we refuse to acknowledge it simply because it is connected to our own family, church, or community. A clear example is the abuse that has occurred within many religious institutions. Churches themselves are not evil, yet evil can hide within them. When a church chooses to conceal or silence abuse, it only allows the perpetrators to create more victims.

History has shown us this pattern time and again, and it continues today. No matter the setting, we must bring abusers into the light. How else can we hope to stop them?

I am sure you have heard the expression, “Blood is thicker than water.” Many interpret it to mean that family should always come first. However, that is not its original meaning. The phrase once referred to a “blood bond”—a deep, chosen connection between people, often sealed by mixing blood from cuts. This bond was considered stronger and more sacred than the “water” of the womb (biological family ties).

Some cultures express a similar idea with “Blood is thicker than milk,” referring to the milk shared in nurturing family bonds. The core meaning remains: we have the power to choose our strongest, most meaningful connections.

I love many people in my family. There are those I would proudly choose as my “blood” in the truest sense of the word. They are loving, supportive, and beautifully flawed, just like the rest of us. Their encouragement has lifted me up and helped me survive. At the same time, I worry about those who do not have even a few such loved ones—the ones who listen, wipe away tears, and carry us when the pain becomes too heavy. Their Amy.